Education: a blessing or distraction?

Did you ever come across those complex signs called equations in the picture above? If you never did, count yourself lucky.

We all (mostly science students) encountered some frustrating moments (mathematics without application) in school, which made us ask one realistic question; “At what point in life will I use this maths?”

I do remember, a lecturer once told us that some of these maths were used in constructing bridges. Well, I never did agree because I was pretty sure that Julius Berger didn’t write any mathematical formula for the Eko bridge, neither was any written for the Third Mainland Bridge. If they did, please I would like to know.

Besides students going through lectures that might add nothing to their lives (e.g. Basic programming language: who uses this ???), the educational system which was designed to groom and enlighten the already gifted mines of humans, has fallen short of its purpose in Nigeria.

Although, some might dispute the fact stated above, with an argument that it depends on the choice of institution, but with testimonies from highly rated institutions in the country, no need for further ado.

Educating the mind is an essential part of human life that separates a literate from an illiterate. But school is not the only place to learn, although it is most preferred and referred.

In Nigeria, crises experienced by students in the educational system might just be the reason why non of our academic institutions are ranked among the world’s top 500 universities.

Just to mention a few of these problems:
‘I get leg’ (you don’t need brilliance to gain admission or pass examinations); special centres (only for those who know their way), ‘Money talks bullshit walks’ (if you dont have money please stay at home, education is not for the poor).

These unfair acts have become a routine at almost every level of learning, including primary education, sadly.

Most times I’ve asked students (University/College) why they picked their course of study, and 80% answers depicted that they were in school just for the certificate, with an uncertainty for the future.

“I don’t know. It’s all about the certificate. Just get the paper and hustle after school,” a student said.

Well, its difficult faulting the student’s statement as we see graduates who studied Biology or Botany working at our Banks.

If most students don’t have an idea of what they are doing in school, then what exactly is happening at the Universities.

Below are the laments of some students in Universities based on their everyday experiences (for some reasons I decided not to mention the schools and student names);

–”I am a 300 level computer science student and we are barely allowed to touch a computer or use the computer laboratory. I owe myself the obligation of self development.”

–”Classrooms are most times over populated and not even conducive for fishes in a tin of sardine. Not to mention the ever shrieking asthmatic engine generator that generates much smoke, leaving you at a point of lethargy.”

–”Some Lecturers just come to class, give you a handbook and disappear until examination day. It’s all left to us to study. The handbooks are a compulsory buy if you want to graduate as estimated.”

–”I am tired of school. Some lecturers just give students outrageous projects to work on. One of my friends was asked to build an ATM machine.”

Against all the odds, youths still strive to be enlightened without the walls of knowledge. Why? It’s not like their future is determined by school. Yes, it isn’t; neither are they guaranteed jobs at graduation or a life worth craving for in a country where almost nothing is working except chaos and corruption.

It must be said that success is not entirely associated with your educational level as many have made it big in life without graduating college [William Henry “Bill” Gates III, Mark Zuckerberg, Tuface Idibia, Johnny Depp, late Steve Jobs, Albert Einstein, Cosmos Maduka (Coscharis group), Colonel Sanders (KFC), Mary Kay Ash (Mary Kay cosmetics), Orji Uzor Kalu etc.].

The above mentioned influential personals may later have gone back to school to complete their education, but that was after attaining success; it can as well be said that it was to fulfil all righteousness and societal dictum.

“I have nothing against education. But at times, education gives people false confidence. It makes people relax, trusting in the power of their certificates rather than in working hard.” – Rasaq Okoya (Eleganza Plaza)

Every human has a gift in which success is embedded. School or without School, with God and the right people, success is guaranteed.

In this age and time, its what you do with that mass of neurons that stands out than the certificates you hang on your wall.

“School is not the true test of success. However, educating your mind is essential.”

When ‘fun’ goes sour

Celebrating birthdays while in secondary school meant going home drenched in water.

We don’t know who invented the act of drenching celebrants (Water Bath a.k.a Inventory X) but we all accepted it like men who have been wandering the desert for days and suddenly stumble on an ocean.

I had friends who went through such embarrassing but fun filled moments. Fortunately, I never did because my birthday was and is always on a holiday (December 26th ).

Graduating from Secondary School (High School), and gaining admission into a higher institution (University/College), the thought of Inventory X vanished from my head, so did”Kolo”(or torose, but no English meaning), Table soccer,”Egbon”(check Yoruba dictionary), Game centre, Stand-still,”I like you thing”etc.

Never would I have thought that a seemingly harmless Inventory X would be the cause of an untimely demise.

By the way, if you didn’t partake in any of the activities mentioned above; NA WA for your childhood o.

The 29th of August won’t be easily forgotten by Miss Omodesola Olusoji, as it marked her birthday and also a near death experience for her.

Little Miss Omodesola, a fresher at Yaba College of Technology, Business Administration department, must have woken up on that bright and wonderful day feeling elated and excited; nothing could go wrong in her mind.

Birthday girl was turning 17 on this faithful day, when tragedy struck. Just as the ritual of Inventory X, friends chased and gathered around her like a pick pocket at mushin market who was about to face jungle justice. Everyone brought out their artilleries of water; 2litres, 10 litres, 15 litres etc. and baptised her like she just became born again.

A friend of hers who felt she was missing out on the fun hurried to her hostel to grab a keg she felt contained water… and there!!! hell was let loose.

The container which contained something arguably an identical twin of H2O, was a corrosive liquid meant for Entrepreneurship Development Project. There went the birthday fun, Lil Miss Omodesola’s face (rendered her partially blind) and some parts of her skin.

The question on everyone’s lips was, how on earth did Mr corrosive liquid (probably caustic soda) find its way into the girls hostel. Well, we know how school is…lecturers give you projects to do. Just maybe the student who owned Mr Corrosive was required to make Soap (caustic soda is one of its components) and she decided to keep it safe in her hostel knowing there are potential thieves everywhere in school.

Howbeit, I will blame this incident on Inventory X, and whoever the inventor is, should take full responsibility.

The culprit who administered the the wrong amount of corrosive liquid dosage on B-Day girl meant no harm and it was just a case of ‘fun gone sour’.

The unlucky and remorseful culprit was dismissed from school the next day and Miss Omodesola who is now at Lagos University Teaching Hospital (LUTH), is recuperating and responding to treatment.

However, It must be said that there are some ‘fun’ we should learn to outgrow.

Aluumi9ja: Aluuminising Nigeria

Aluuminising Nigeria simply means putting an end to everything that is holding back the country’s progress.

The word aluuminising is coined out of one of the most popular words on the lips of Nigerians, Aluu; which means the act of putting an abrupt end to anything good or bad without hesitation. While Aluu (Naija English) means inhumane act; or of without mercy.
Other forms of the word are aluuminise, aluuminised, aluuminisation.

The origin of the word can be traced back to October 5, 2012 when indigenes of a particular community in Port Harcourt, Rivers state, defiled the laws of love and humanity to massacre four students in cold blood. The word has since then been used as a threat to anyone who refuses to behave his/herself.

Examples:

· Due to poor officiating by Referee Mark Clattenburg, Mikel Obi has urged the English FA to send Mark to aluu.

· Dimeji is a Bank-Ole and should be aluuminised.

· The secret brain behind Globacom telecommunications, who also wanted to run for presidency in 2010, deserves aluuminisation.

You know, I have brainstormed for weeks but yet to find an understanding why the people of that community acted in such manner and only just recently came up with an explanation for their ill behaviour.

You see, the word “Alu” in my native home, is a word associated with abomination. Anyone, whom the word is used on, is usually an outcast (not accepted among other humans). So, I would say the ancestors of the village called Aluu in Port Harcourt may have probably been expatriates from my home town and decided to find a habitat for themselves in a bush area which later developed into a community in the city of Port Harcourt.

In fear of rejection by people, they decided to add an extra “U” to their name and there the village ALUU came into existence.

These people, who displayed the act of animalism on four youths of the village, who were later known to be the #ALUU4, have since then been blacklisted by Nigerians and many of them may find it difficult gaining admission into schools or securing jobs (If I were a native, I would go and swear an affidavit for a little tweak on my birth certificate).

But wait a minute; let us be considerate in our thoughts towards these people. Perhaps, the name of this community had a big part to play in the manner in which they treated their very own brothers. You know it is said that “a good name is better than gold”.

Albeit, let us temper justice with mercy. We shouldn’t judge
the whole community because a handful of them acted inhumanely, but rather I think they need prayers, as it might be an ancestral curse which was embedded in their name… perhaps!

Although, the word aluu has become associated with anything
bad, I would like us to take a break and look on the positive impact of this word as I believe there’s always a good side to any bad situation.

For instance, wouldn’t it be a graceful happening for Nigerians if corruption was totally aluuminised with all propitiators given an irrational share of what the #ALUU4 experienced?

Wouldn’t it be a thing of joy if we were to wake up one day to hear that someone, somewhere, somehow had administered the right dosage of aluuminisation on every cabal at the administrative helms of Nigeria?

Well, I’m still waiting for the day when we will employ the bravery of Ghana’s notorious Rawlings and do away with our hopeful hopelessness by deleting all forms of cabal on our fatherland.

“When hope becomes the captain, inaction has been employed
as the coach.”

FYI: There is a possibility that the writer of this piece
was under the influence of alcohol while typing and all aforementioned names are auto completions done by #Swype. I take no responsibility for any names mentioned. Thank you!